It makes me really sad to find so many women filled with self-hatred. It also amazes me that, in so many cases, no-one else can tell. It is not that we present a facade to the world. We are what we present ourselves as being, as well as being deeply, silently unhappy.
I wonder how many men have this dank well at their core. Do as many men find life hard, a constant struggle to appear “normal”? I suspect not. They do not have the pressures of appearance to contend with (in addition to the running of the home which women still do, no matter what men may claim about doing their equal share).
For the good of our species let alone others, we must evolve beyond being driven by our reproductive hormones. We must use our intelligence to understand our own personal as well as communal interests. Look what we currently do to prepare our female children for her only role in life...
And when you are redundant (heaven forbid that you didn’t have children at all) ....
you are left to get on as best you can, alone. No wonder one in four middle-aged women suffer from depression or anxiety.
For the sake of millions of women we must stop thinking that the child-bearing years are the only ones of worth in a woman’s lifetime. It is selfish and narrow-minded to do otherwise, neither of which do anything for the survival of the planet, let alone the happiness of the entire world population (but especially the female half). We are worth it, even without the flowing, glossy locks.
I am not saying we should give up playing with makeup and hair and clothes and shoes and handbags. For some of us it’s too much fun. It’s the age attitudes that get to me. Age should be entirely irrelevant. We have to become age-blind, especially to ourselves, and we have to refuse to kowtow to what other people think we should be "at your age". I think we’d be much healthier too. I know two women in their 90s who are both still living in their own homes, still walking and doing their own shopping. Both said that they do not think about their age. How many times do we hear that now we are a certain age we must be checked regularly for this or that? We even get our prescriptions for free when we turn 60 because we are expected to need them (and, just as fearful, to not be able to afford them). We are expected to be ill and decrepit when we are older, a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Law of Attraction.
I am in two minds about plastic surgery. While I think we should accept everyone as they naturally are, and that everyone has inherent and equal value exactly as they are, if I had a spare £60,000 I might just spend it the way Cindy Jackson has...
Cindy is the same age as me and looks fabulous. It will be interesting to see if she can keep it going. On the other hand look what happened to Michael Jackson...
Anyway, going back to this morning and hating myself, I decided to give myself a virtual makeover with a new hairstyle and colour, both easily achievable. I also tried different colours of makeup but ended up with the colours I already use. It was great fun and very encouraging. I would post a before and after shot but I came out in a cold sweat at the thought of being recognised. I need my anonymity so that I can speak honestly and also so that I don't hurt others.
My final thought is: We need to give up trying to be perfect – it’s such an impossible task anyway. “Time waits for no woman.” Just look at Brigitte Bardot at 73...
This is life. Life is change. Change is good.
